The Mother of Pearls

Here, thinking of you I remember being lost in wonder;
these shadows of memory I will never live again, where
Sometimes I have nothing to share but yesterday.
Being up all night, there will always remain my obsessions;
same old story
it's hard to find divine intervention.
But sometimes I see it,
I feel it come through the pen,
the brush,
the musical note.
Looking for something that was never mine.
a pantomime, a reflection of the real thing,
now lost to forever.
And every idol is eventually a let down
that brings you down
but makes me try harder
and then I feel more real,
a holy shimmering takes me over.
I have thrown away kisses,
cut all the guilt down,
thrown away the past.
This is only a shrinking world
a cameo
a detached pearl.
I save it like the memories put away in some locket,
heart shaped.